Unfaithful
by Sylla Shadowfrost
Summary: Song fic. Kinda bitter.


**O.k. I don't really know why I'm typing this, but this song has been on my mind for a while now. Plus I love this song and it ( I think) reminds me of what could happen between the three (Well not really). I was considering doing this as a Tahu/Gali/ Kopaka pairing but decided this would be better. Enjoy**

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"Unfaithful"

Nokama sighed as she stood in the semi dark of Ga Metru. Life for her now was so messed up right now. She wanted to do the right thing, make the right choice but the answer was eluding her. And it was beginning to tear her apart. At first it had been easy, simple. If you had asked her a few months ago who she loved, she would've immediately said Vakama. But now, now she couldn't answer that question.

_Story of my life_  
_Searching for the right  
But it keeps avoiding me  
Sorrow in my soul  
Cause it seems that wrong  
Really loves my company_

Mata Nui, Nokama really cared for Vakama, she did. He was kind to her, and he under stood her, but… but she felt so far away from him. He was more to her than her love, he was her best friend. But what she was feeling now, wasn't from his love. And now she stood, gone from Vakama because she was waiting her love-another love- to come. Nokama choked on a sob. Why , why couldn't she just remain loyal to Vakama? Why couldn't she love him and only him?

Nokama knew Vakama knew about her affair with Matau, and somehow, he never told her to leave or to stop seeing him. Or to do anything. He never said a word. And he also knew that she was happy when he was around. She could see his agony when she would come back from being with Matau, her eyes were shining, a smile would be spread wide on her mask. A mask that he had told her so many times that he loved more than anything else. She could see that she was slowly, unintentionally killing him. But he would but on a smile and ask her how she was. It was almost like he didn't want to believe what he was seeing. Like the fact that she was in love with someone else would go away if he ignored it.

_He's more than a man  
And this is more than love  
The reason that the sky is blue  
The clouds are rolling in  
Because I'm gone again  
And to him I just can't be true_

_And I know that he knows I'm unfaithful  
And it kills him inside  
To know that I am happy with some other guy  
I can see him dying_

A tear made its way down Nokama's mask. She hated this. She knew she was in love with Vakama. She knew it. But she was also in love with Matau. She didn't want to be. She didn't want to break his heart. She didn't want to see him like this, hopeful that she wouldn't do what she was doing, that she would come back to him, say that all of the things that were happening were just him imagination. She cold see the anguish in his eyes every time she walked away. She was the only thing left in the world that didn't hate him. Onewa and him didn't get along at all. Nuju and Whenua were on nutrel grounds with him. Oh Great Spirits she didn't want to do this to him. She knew she was hurting him beyond what she could fathom, and she didn't want to do that.

But she was.

_I don't wanna do this anymore  
I don't wanna be the reason why  
Everytime I walk out the door  
I see him die a little more inside  
I don't wanna hurt him anymore  
I don't wanna take away his life  
I don't wanna be...  
A murderer_

Nokama sat sighing down at the table, tired. Tonight she was going to meet Matau again. But to be honest, she was suddenly starting to fall out with him. She didn't know at first, his….Ah, rougeish personality was charming. But he was starting to be a bit of an air head. Maybe it was guilt getting to her. Or her concius telling her cheating on the man you love so much was wrong. Nokama looked up as she heard him enter.

" Hello Vakama" She said forcing a smile.

He came over and kissed her lovingly. "Nokama."

He murmered. Then he looked at her for a moment. "Going out tonight again?" He asked quietly.

Nokama felt a stab of regret at the look of sadness on his face. She really didn't want to do this, but somehow, for some reason, she felt she needed Matau. She forced a cheerful smile and spoke quickly.

"Yes, just for a bit though, I want to check on something by the schools in Ga-Metru. But I won't be long, I promise." She lied

Hurt went through his eyes, as her heart sunk. He knew she was lying. But as always, he smiled and forced away the fact she was lying. "Okay. Just be careful." He said quietly

Nokama didn't even know why she bothered to lie to him. They both knew were she was going. But there was something about Vakama tonight. Something different, daunting almost. Nokama stood up suddenly, unable to meet his gaze. "I'll be back soon." She said quietly as she quickly walked out, aware of the Toa of Fire's eyes staring after her.

_I feel it in the air  
As I'm doing my hair  
Preparing for another date  
A kiss upon my cheek  
As he reluctantly  
Asks if I'm gonna be out late  
I say I won't be long  
Just hanging with the girls  
A lie I didn't have to tell  
Because we both know  
Where I'm about to go  
And we know it very well_

Oh god, what was she doing? He knew where she was going ever night. What she was doing. Why why WHY didn't he say anything to her? She was killing both of them. Him with hurt, her with guilt. He could see she was happy with Matau. She knew that. So why didn't he leave, or make her leave? She wanted more than anything for this to stop. For Matau to say he hated her for doing this. Or Vakama. Or Vakama to just leave, so she wouldn't have to see the agony in his eyes every night, every time she would come and look at him. She wanted to scream at him to hate her, to do something other than just smile and pretend to be totally nieve to what was going on. Tears rolled down her face. Suddenly she stopped. No, she wasn't going to see Matau. She couldn't bear the look of sorrow on Vakama's face anymore. She was destroying him from the inside. Killing him by betraying him. She didn't want to do that, she couldn't do that. She was torn between need and her morals. Morals won. She knew she loved Vakama, and betraying her best friend, No to mention lover, was beyond wrong.

_'But you love Matau. You told him that you loved him too_._'_ A small voice reminded her. Nokama had squeezed her eyes shut. She was caught in such a mess. '_Great Spirits_ _help me'_ She prayed.

_Cause I know that he knows I'm unfaithful  
And it kills him inside  
To know that I am happy with some other guy  
I can see him dying_

_I don't wanna do this anymore  
I don't wanna be the reason why  
Everytime I walk out the door  
I see him die a little more inside  
I don't wanna hurt him anymore  
I don't wanna take away his life  
I don't wanna be...  
A murderer_

But it was too late. She knew she had broken his heart when he found out, as well as his trust.No something in her mind told her. To hell with too late.

Nokama turned and ran back to where Vakama and she were living. She would tell him she was sorry, for what she had done. And she truly was. Mata Nui only grant her that he could ever forgive her foolish mistake. For what she had done to him.

But when Nokama got to the house, Something was wrong. An errie silence hung over the place. "Hello?Vakama?" Nokama called hesitantly as she walked in.

_Our love, his trust  
I might as well take a gun and put it to his head  
Get it over with  
I don't wanna do this  
Anymore  
Uh  
Anymore (anymore)_

Then Nokama saw him. And screamed. He lay on the floor, surrounded by a puddle of his own blood. She turned him over quickly "Come on Vakama don't do this." She whispered fearfully. She gathered an orb of healing water between her hands, and let pour over his body. Nothing happened. "No, no Please no" She whispered, tears pouring down her face

_I don't wanna do this anymore  
I don't wanna be the reason why_

"NO!!" she sobbed, laying her head on his chest, clinging to him like a frightened child. " No, Vakama." She whispered to him.

_and everytime I walk out the door  
I see him die a little more inside_

She had driven him to this. Why, why couldn't she have come in time? Why, Great Spirits why? She should've know this was coming, why did she see it? The regret in his eyes as she left. Oh god she didn't mean to hurt him like this. She didn't mean for any of this to end up the way it did. She had done this to him.

And I don't wanna hurt him anymore  
I don't wanna take away his life  
I don't wanna be...

Sobbing, she picked up the knife that had killed Vakama, and put it to her chest.She looked briefly at his still form and plunged the knife into her heart. She deserved this fate. She only hoped Vakama could forgive her when she reached heaven. If she ever got there.

_A murderer (a murderer)_

_No, no, no, no_

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**Ok crappy story, but I felt I needed to write it. Look for everyone who's reading 'memories' I'm kinda stuck on that so don't expect an update. I know what I want to do in the story for about six chapters, but I'm not sure how to write it out. I've given up on asking people to review, cause they usually don't, which is really discouraging me at this point. I know some of my story was a little OOC ish, but live with it. Plus beign really bored doesn't help my writing either. Some one give me something to occupy me!! **

**Later, **

**Shadowed ice**


End file.
